god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I just went to clothing optional bar
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
