Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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