i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
