She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
