Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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