Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
