Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
