Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
