i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
