i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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