my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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