I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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