dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
