Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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