Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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