Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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