I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
