yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
