Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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