Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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