Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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