There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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