it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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