Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
