I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
