We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Randomize
