giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm just crazy horny about you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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