We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
