Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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