Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
