An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize