how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
