WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
