dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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