I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
