He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
