I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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