Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The air was thick with penises
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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