you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
