OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
As shirtless as possible
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
