the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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