why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
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easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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