But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
