Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
