He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
