More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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