So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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