I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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