No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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