apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
