Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That accounts for only three of the penises
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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