Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
