dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
