The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
