My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
