i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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