Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
