I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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