it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
