once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016