Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow