Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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