Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

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(765): View more from Indiana

how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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(289): View more from Ontario

So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already

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(240): View more from Maryland

Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(209): View more from California

is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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(214): View more from Texas

If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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(623): View more from Arizona

It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.

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(831): View more from California

Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.

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(815): View more from Illinois

while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.

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