So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
