So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
