I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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