tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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