yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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